House Train Your Husband: Girls Night Out

girlsnight

Now, you may be wondering what girls night out has to do with house training your husband but it has everything to do with it. You see, part of house training your husband involves teaching him to stay at home when you are away, without your supervision and behave himself.

Some men don’t know how to behave themselves when their wife leaves the house. As soon as their wife leaves they make a mess of the place. Underwear on the floor, pee on the toilet seat, toilet tissue everywhere, food strewn about, dirty dishes. These men are NOT house trained. They don’t know how to behave when their wives are away because they haven’t had any practice. If you have girls night out you give your husband practice. He can know how to behave. He can learn to be gentle puppy, not wild wolf.

During your girls night out, you must set some rules in place. Explain to your husband where the food and water is located. Even if you have lived in your current home for years, men still forget where food is located. It’s not unusual for untrained husbands to simply stare into a full refrigerator and believe that there is nothing at all to eat.

You must point out meals for your husband or make one for him and stick in the oven. Tell him not to stick his head in the oven when retrieving the meal as it could burn him. He only needs to stick his hands in and part of his arms. Men can be incredibly dangerous and will refuse to visit a doctor when injured. Most men think they can repair a broken arm at home with duct tape and caulk.

On girls night out please do not flirt with other men. Flirting with other men is especially dangerous if your husband is a 900. A 900 is simply itching to beat the crap out of some poor shmuck because the guy said that you were beautiful.

On girls night out do not get drunk. Drunk women are dangerous because they start flirting and driving. If you drink and drive you are a bad person. Period.

Do not complain about your husband on girls night out. Speak well of your husband even if he is not properly house trained yet. Because everything you say about your husband can be carried off by a little bird that was listening in on your conversation. Birds cannot be trusted. 

Once you’ve enjoyed a nice girls night out and you return home to a house that is relatively clean and intact you should give your husband praise and reward. This trains him to take care of the house when you are away. Rewarding your husband with kind words and little kisses teaches him that you appreciate when he doesn’t tear up the house when you’re gone. He will behave better by positive reinforcement.

You are house training him and you’re getting your dance on at the same time.

Everybody wins!

Buy the book How to House Train Your Husband here!!

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