Why I Don’t Eat Cereal


A photo by Gabriel Gurrola. unsplash.com/photos/YpngzEY9ijY

I am not a health nut or a fruit bat, but I know that most Americans grew up eating cereal. Especially if it was the 80’s and you were poor and you bought cereal in a bag instead of a box.

Who in the world was silly enough to eat Grape Nuts? It’s like eating a box of rocks.

First, I don’t eat cereal ever because it’s made of cardboard. You might as well eat cardboard. Haters gonna hate, but high fructose syrup doesn’t lie.

Captain Crunch was never really a captain. He was obviously a pirate posing as a captain. I also read he’s a software developer, but that is neither here nor there. The truth is, the best thing that you can do for yourself in the morning is eat a hot breakfast.

Whatever happened to a beautiful piece of toast with avocado and salem. Kristen Wiig would eat something like that.

Do you want a mouse to eat healthier than you do? Think about that for a minute.





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