Chapter Three: Is my husband too old to be house trained?
So, you married some old fart. Congratulations. He must have had more time. Make sure he eats his oatmeal so that he stays regular. If he doesn’t and gets constipated he is putting his health at risk. Men don’t mind putting their health at risk, and most men are afraid to go to the doctors. Please see the chapter on health checkups to learn more. If you got an older one on your hands, you can breathe a sigh of relief because it’s possible for him to be house trained too! I actually think it’s much easier to house train older men for the following reasons.
– Older men already have some house training from previous relationships
– Older men are more mature – you’d think
– Older men understand that they are not invincible and are much more likely to go to a doctor for a checkup
– Older men understand that life is tough and often have realistic expectations of what marriage is like and what marriage can be
– Older men are sometimes less stinky
There is a saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but no one ever asks what those new tricks actually are. If you are trying to teach a dog to jump through a hoop, then how easy would it be to teach a young dog to do that? The young dog just wants to sleep, eat, and play, they probably are not thinking about jumping through a hoop and are likely to just bite the hoop anyway. At least the old dog won’t bite the hoop. He’ll just look at the hoop… from the sofa, and then turn his head and close his eyes until he senses that you’ve put food in his dish. With that said, you can teach anyone, anything at any age. If 80 year old people can go back to school and learn a second language then it’s possible to house train your husband at any age.