How to Keep Your Roommates from Using Your Pacifier

treeapt

When your roommate uses your cup it is pretty bad because they have their gross mouth on your stuff. When they use your pacifier it is even worse because you have the entire pacifier in your mouth sucking on it like a lollipop. And now it is like you are kissing your roommate.

catrubs

You should tell your roommate to stop doing that or you’ll send your attack cat. Also, there is no water in the refrigerator. What are you going to do if there was an emergency or an earthquake? Find out in the next post. If you are in college and you are talking to your girlfriend all night long he might smash the door open with his fist while smoking a joint. You’ll never forgive him and you’ll have that bitter root for a long time. And that’s why your farts stink, because of bitter root.

If anyone ever tells you that stinky farts means that you are healthy, that person is lying to you because that person must hate you. You probably have parasites like the one that came out of my butt yesterday. Ginger and black tea will help push that baby parasite out. Not together though, separately and at different times.

To summarize, buy a new pacifier. The end.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s