So… you’ve been abducted by an alien. Congratulations, you’re in the elite group of people that get abducted by aliens each year. According to the Institute of Extraterrestrial Research, 25 people get abducted by aliens each year. The IER is the most prominent research group in the Pacific Northwest.
You see, the aliens come down in the rain, making the rain chubby. That’s why it’s called chubby rain. There are lots of passive aggressive aliens in Seattle – it rains a lot there. And some of the aliens play on the Seahawks. Are you still a 12? You should be a 13, not a 12.
Aliens have been coming to Earth more frequently due to the elections. Evidently, they have a HUUUGE stake in the elections as they are planning a full invasion depending on the outcome. If you think Mars is transiting, you are wrong! It is really a spaceship. Just look it up on Google Sky.
Oh yeah, you should not run towards the alien during an abduction. You need to run to the alien and then away from the alien. That is all.