If you are like most of us, then you’ve gone to WebMD for help, only to incorrectly self-diagnose. If you have an illness or general malaise see a doctor that owns at least two white coats. The coats are essential to determining whether or not he is a good doctor – and they should be clean – no blood stains. Stains means that he is not good with his hands. You should see a doctor that is good with his hands, or claws. Never see a doctor that has hoofs.
A medical degree on the wall means nothing. You can print that out at home. I have two on my wall… from Harvard.
If you’ve avoided the doctor with two coats and bogus degrees and opted to go on WebMD to diagnose yourself, then you should know something. You should know that only 60% of people who use WebMD correctly diagnose themselves, and that statistic is about 80% accurate.
So, to answer your question:
Yes, WebMD can cause heart palpitations.
Other symptoms of browsing WebMD include:
- Strong emotions such as anxiety or fear
- Crazy thoughts and fear that an asteroid is coming
- Decreased physical activity
- Prolonged web browsing
- A strong desire to eat something sweet or salty
- A dizziness only described as ‘crazy eyes’
Thanks a lot Obamacare.
Disclaimer: Dr. Zee has two Harvard medical degrees on his wall. He printed out two for the price of one. Dr. Zee loves human anatomy and is an expert in alien species. His speciality is treating dorsal fins and fin rot. Any medical advice given by Dr. Zee that does not fall under his dorsal fin specialty should be backed by your personal, human physician.